I literally felt my muscles straining as I read of Feldman’s frustrations, escape, and hiding in order to be herself. I identified with this phase as well, since I left a defective marriage and raised two sons. Her book documents the evolution of her choice to separate from the enclave and her marriage, enduring severe ostracism, and taking on the fight of her life to become an independent woman and mother. She finally exercised her choice to leave when she could stand it no more. Any pressure, and I’d likely turned my back on the relationship long ago.įeldman, on the other hand, lived from childhood to early adulthood without many choices. However, I have complete choice in taking the Yiddish class and I have never once felt pressured by these friends to become more religious.Įither they have mastered the art of not alienating Reform, Liberal, Masorti or non-practicing Jews they minister to, or have sized me up really well. So, I confess to having some mixed feelings.

However, due to an experience I had some twenty-five years ago, I know something about the Orthodox culture.īy coincidence, I was kind of adopted as an adult by a family of Lubavitcher Hasidim (Chabad), an Orthodox offshoot somewhat more flexible than the Satmar group, although I did not live with them.Īnd currently, while I was reading and enjoying Feldman’s book, I was also in middle of a Yiddish course - heavily seasoned with religious teachings - given by my Lubavitcher friends on Zoom. My family of origin is Reform Jewish, now with a multicultural assortment of members. Their parents were Orthodox, but their adherence to the strictures loosened as they assimilated into North American life. My father and four grandparents came from Eastern Europe. Members of this group-the original founders are from Hungary-are extremely strict, reclusive and exclusive.Įvery move a member makes must align with the group’s very traditional values.Īs a Jewish woman, I did not grow up this way, but I can relate somewhat.įeldman’s marriage was arranged, as was my grandmother’s. Author Deborah Feldman (Image credit: Alexa Vachon)įeldman grew up in the Satmar ultra-Orthodox Jewish enclave in Williamsburg, New York.

Unorthodox author